Painful Happiness
by lenkid
Summary: Being with Max is not what Logan always dreamed it to be.


A/N- This is just my attempt at a little angst. Hope you all like it. :)

Aimee- Thanks for editing this for me, and choosing a title. I don't know what I'd do with out you.

*********************************************************************

Sleeping with Max turned out to be a double-edged sword. It had not only brought me the single most happiest moment of my life, but it has also made where I'm standing right now, that much harder to deal with. 

It had been three months after Max escaped from Manticore that we finally consummated our relationship. I wish it could have been right when she got out, but I knew then, and I still know, that she was fighting demons that even she couldn't slay. I knew she needed time to figure things out, so time is what I gave her. She still came over for dinner, but instead of leaving right away with her trademark 'gotta bounce', or, 'gotta blaze', she'd often stay the night, curled up beside me on the couch. She was physically and emotionally drained, and I was more than happy to help her through her dark times. She would have done the same for me. Hell, she did do the same for me. If it wasn't for her, I'd be dead right now, shot by a gun in my own hand. The night that we finally joined was one that I will never forget. It had been a tough day at Jam Pony for the whole gang, but after all his yelling, Normal had ended the day by giving everyone a raise. The whole gang was ecstatic, and were all down at Crash, celebrating. Max had come in my door, as quiet as usual, and slipped her hands over my shoulders, and down my chest as she leaned in to whisper in my ear. She was in such a good mood, that I would have done anything to keep her in that mood. So, when she asked me to go to Crash, I readily accepted. I spent most of the night sitting at a table with Herbal and Sketchy, watching Sketchy get drunker by the minute. Max and Original Cindy were off playing foosball. I kept my eye on Max the whole night. She just seemed brighter than usual. After awhile, the girls tired of playing their game, and I could see Max go to the bar to get another pitcher of beer. As she did, I looked at the ones that were on our table, and they were all empty. My glass was nearly full, but I was never a great lover of beer anyways. Before I knew it, a fresh pitcher was placed in front of me, and Max was leaning over my shoulder, whispering in my ear, saying 'let's get out of here.' I smiled, knowing full well what that meant, and got up out of my chair, not even throwing a goodbye to the other three people at the table.

We got back to my apartment, and after lighting all the candles I could find around my bed, we climbed onto the bed together. I helped her take off her coat, and looked deep into her eyes. I grabbed the back of her head, and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. She broke the kiss after a few seconds, and I didn't even have to ask why, as I saw her grab the neck of her turtleneck, and begin to pull. I helped her take that off too, and once again pulled her in for a kiss. As our clothes were shed, and I lowered her down onto her back, she whispered to me that this was just how she had dreamed it. I told her that I had dreamt of this moment ever since we first met. The night was amazing, and as our bodies joined, I felt a feeling of bliss that I never thought imaginable. We laid there together the next morning for hours, never moving, just content to be together. I was so happy when she came back to me after work that day. I was so afraid that she would run, but she never did. We lived happily together for a little more than two months. We did everything together, and neither of us had been happier in all of our lives. This morning, we decided to go for a walk. It was a warm day for once, and there were no signs of it raining. We were walking hand in hand down the sidewalk, and had just turned to cross the street. When we got about halfway through, my exoskeleton decided to pick that moment to freeze up. I couldn't move. I knew it would only take a few seconds for it to start up again, but we didn't have those few seconds. Before I knew what was happening, I could hear a car, which was very close. I looked up just as it was about to hit us, and looked to Max. She shoved me hard, causing me to fall out of the way of the car. She didn't have time though. The car hit, straight on, and she hit the windshield hard, causing her to roll off the front of the car, and onto the road. I crawled to her, weeping, fearing the worst. 

Now, as I stand on the wrong side of the operating room doors, I realize that she has saved me once more, only this time, I wish I could have gone with her. The doctors are working quickly on her, and I hope against hope that they'll be able to see her. I watch, and can see the doctors allowing their arms to fall to their sides, and I know that she is gone. The lead doctor comes towards the doors, and opens them, with a grim look on his face. "Mr. Cale? I'm sorry to tell you this, it's never easy. I'm sorry, we couldn't do anything to save your wife."

I could feel the cold hands of shock running through my body and clutching at my heart, threatening to squeeze it into submission. It didn't even register that the doctor had called Max my wife. In my wildest dreams she was, and now I know that it can never be reality. I reach out towards the wall to steady myself.

"Also, there was nothing we could do for the baby."

The doctor's words caught me full force. I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. "What?"

"Mr. Cale, you're wife was two months pregnant."


End file.
